do you ever feel like you must be "on" when people are around because they probably would not like "off"? or even, does part of you live beneath the surface that nobody ever gets to see?... sometimes i think that describes me, sometimes i don't... i don't hide anything intentionally, i just share a lot less than i used to...
then again, there are depths within i have not visited in many years - and i do not mean depressions, i mean landscapes of memories, awareness, and personality that are simply sleeping because there is no time to indulge, to remember, to actualize... there are reasons beyond lack of time, but that is the primary reason (i mean, i am not taking the time to explore the reasons beyond lack of time due to the lack of time, but they are there)... now that i have more time, except for the constant screaming of "find an income fast" coming from the logical part of my brain, the depths long sleeping at stirring a bit (just a bit) and that is exciting, trepidations, and precarious (not always in that order, but still i feel a gleeful smile)...
I've played with words since memory began and have been writing words ever since i could first hold a crayon... i think in rhythm and feel in rhyme (and share a few words from time to time)... and I used to have more than 10,000 pages of rhymes and rambles online... and then there is music... music is the fluid carrying my spirit through my soul and words are the cells forming the bodies of my dreams... i spent so little time inside these days and so little time with music...
that is it for now, as an introduction of sorts... i do not allow myself the unlimited uninhibited writing time at the moment because i do not want to risk every possibility (one being find a mountain of sorts and live off the land and that would leave my roommie in the lurch and I do not want to do that)... part of me is considering taking the rest of the summer off and just indulging my every whim... if i find a job willing to let me start in September, I will likely do that (after counting pennies)...
and then, somewhat unexpectedly, the latest incarnation of what can loosely be called the hitchhiker's guide to the written gardens (da da daahhhh) kind of crept up on us like this (with soon to be added additional words because, well, that is what i do)...
a year or few ago, maybe four or six, ATT decided no more personal pages... before i could download the site i had there, those 10,000+ pages were deleted... poof, and i was gone from the internet after years of building the sites... don't trust free web host, even if you pay for another service they provide (phone)...
but there is hope... most of those pages are on a computer or disk somewhere in my boxes and someday i hope to make time to find them and then revise the links and put them back on the web... until then, there is the new stuff...
once upon a time, this was the personal site entrance (oooo, are we starting to write the guide?... well, maybe, but we we done with the intros a bit earlier, weren't we?... puzzled expressions all around as we proceeded ahead with several additional paragraphs above that might actually be becoming the hitchhiker's guide to {used to be here, the written gardens... still is, sort of, but so many of the links within this entrance no longer work... still, it's a historical document, so let's not get hysterical over what might have been moldy cheese}, cuz it was more like a guided tour through the written gardens {slowly i turn... reference to niagara falls abbott and costello, which, when this bit is fleshed out, should be accompanied by hyper-dramatic musical chords and the words slowly i turn each time the words the written gardens [da da daahhhh, slowly i turn] is mentioned}, yeah, that's the ticket {see you are witnessing the guide and subsequent skits and ultimate film version being created right before your eyes... shhhh, i have not copy written this email yet [BIG THUD]
pardon, s'cuse, we interrupt this parenthetic aside that interrupted the guide that was not intended to be written here but started to be written here anyway to bring you the following important announcement:
All Right Reserved (c) Candor Communication, 2012
[This includes this email and all other writings i added here]
we now return you to your regularly interrupted email...
which i hopefully just remedied and you too share in the excitement [feel free to overdramatize, it's just the working model first draft, after all] of the reincarnation of the explanatory notes for the written gardens [da da daahhhh, slowly i turn... oh yeah, now we're getting it... did i mention the sudden turn to the camera in the skit and film versions?] which shall continue now}, this could be monumental... epic, even, but we shall stop this parenthetic aside now as suddenly as it began) and alas, unfortunately, as with the main entrance, many links will not work due to the ATT fiasco (which was explained somewhere, but if not here, remind me to add it somewhere along the editing line, with a side of chocolate pudding please)... but many still work (links, that is... on that page above that was the subject of this writing before it was so innocently interrupted by the parenthetic aside monster) leads to this which is still not the page i recommend as a starting point, but the column on the left still work, mostly, the columns on the right are not so sure... but wait, there is the most recent way into the current writing... and before we quote emily littela...
so start here
yeah, we finally get to the link most recommended as a starting point (just be glad this is just the rough first draft because this link might not appear until chapter three or later in the final introduction, or perhaps even the end of the first volume)... the other two just give you background and unfinished business and the past, for what works, but the current rhymes and rambles are organized here... (opinions and complaints)
it is something around volume five or sixteen (or seventy, for all we know) of the complete works of the person i loosely call me, eighth edition (at least)... now as i mentioned on the phone, yesterday, i intended to eventually add a page for each site that would explain what each site was about, at least loosely... since i haven't done that yet, let's start here...
travel back in time with the dailies
this is where the daily writing goes, kind of like a diary or journal or, what do they call it now, a personal blog... the older ones are much more rambling, babbling, longer, meandering... the current one, (e)thereal or e-the-real (top link on the opinions and complaints links list at (opinions and complaints))
the second link, bullsugar, was kind of a side-saddle ride that couldn't decide if it was going to be a new daily replacing (e)thereal or what... it became what... at first i was almost impressed, and then, as with all of my other writing, i accommodated my humble relativity (or relative humility) that balances ego with altruism (or something like that) and accepted it as just another wonder wall upon which i splash pieces of brain and heart and occasionally other body parts...
the third, the funda, was what (e)thereal might have been had i gone more philosophical and less daily life rambling... it was a gift of sorts to an assorted few online writers way back when 24-hour blogathons were all the rage and presented pieces of brain in brief and even coherent bits for the fans around at the time... if you find time to visit the funda and start with the first post (click the archive link at the top, scroll down to the bottom, start with the bottom link, funda and witness the wit and wisdom for as long as you can stand it, then... try it sitting down)..
the fourth (link), we have only just begin... in RealTime™ was an attempt to find brevity in daily public writings after years of the babblings that was the fifth (link), behind the candoor, which was an attempt to unsapify (or diminish the emoness) of the preceding daily, planet candora, which is listed later in another section of the list of links because it did not really fit in with dailies even though it was the primary daily for a brief time...
the more kinda sorta legitimate (though still oddly different as the roots were embryonic) predecessor to behind the candoor was candor at live journal (for lack of a better name for the moment) also listed later in yet another section because it was sorta left hanging and in a what about bob? way, is temporarily disconnected and still somehow needs to be brought into the fold... then there is the deleted first journals that may be uploaded again someday (cuz there's always hope) and might be found partially here (unfortunately the links prior to 2003 were broken by att greed)...
and the other writing spaces in the alternate realities section are there because they are somewhat autobiographical, but more specialized than the dailies... and then there are all the other sections in the opinions and complaints list that maybe i'll explain those better if i ever get there...
so where were we? (i am surprisingly not sliding off on long and winding tangents nearly as much as i usually do, but then, as i said, i am not allowing myself the unlimited time, remember?... i said/wrote that when i said we were done with the intro (note, add wide-eyed stare here)... apparently, were were not quite completely done, but no worries, we should be done any time now, definitely within a fortnight, hopefully)...
so any of the other writing spaces linked at (opinions and complaints) that interest you (or that you have time for as you obviously have other things you can be doing that supersede wandering through the myriad of written gardens i've planted here, there, and anywhere on the web), just ask...
unfortunately, if you wish to engage the infinite improbability drive or the random entry generator, you are shit out of luck because the former is copy written and the later is broken... you can, however, simulate and manually operate the random entry generator by moving your mouse randomly over the links and clicking at whim and then continuing to move your mouse randomly over the links (and clicking at whim) on each subsequent page that the previous clicking at whim took you too... in the event of a page error, hit the back button and repeat the mouse randomly clicking at whim process hoping you avoid the link that took you to the page error, but in case you reach another page error, hit the back button and repeat the mouse randomly clicking at whim process hoping you avoid the link that took you to the page error, but in case... ok, let's not get too loopy...
on second thought, it is highly recommended (by me, even) that you utilize the guide that started above when we were done with the intros...
welcome to the written gardens (da da daahhhh...
ric
407-325-1482
PS... so what's up, ummmm, doc?
