Saturday, May 12, 2018

PS... I Hate You

The full title, for publishing purposes, is PS.. I Hate You (With Love)

Yes, there is a PS to this entry because there is a PS to the letter in the previous entry which you may want to read, since a PS comes after the letter, in most cases. Once again it turns out that as unique as I can be in so many ways, he did sucker me in to purchasing something this time. In his previous thirty or fifty letters over the last many years, I was able to resist the temptation to buy some sort of hard copy of his brilliance, but the songs CD just grabbed me and wouldn't let go. Weird, maybe, but not Al, just Ash lol.

Anywawho, there are so many amusements to explore on the brilliant man's site that even when there's nothing new the wealth of stuff is enough to provide endless hours of pondering and other writings the likes of which Pinky and the Brain (and any insatiable babbler) would be most proud. Admirable, even. If I had the money (remember Your Song do ya?) I'd upgrade his website and increase his stock of T-Shirts (of course you knew I'd go there... I don't have $25 for more T-Shirts I don't have room for, but if I did, I'd buy some, especially Don't ask me what the score is, I don't even remember what game we are playing, among others not sold out... alas, so many are sold out, but that's life) and books (he's published more than a dozen and is working on a new one) and paintings and mugs and stuff and I suppose by now you might have guess that this man and his words have had a permanent place in the life I loosely call mine ever since I was a much littler child. Apparently, he can still trick me with his cleverness, or my love. lol :)

PS... I hate you (with love),

I may have been suckered into a purchase, you wicked despot, you. I suppose you are helping me lose weight, a medical goal on my agenda that recently moved from the back burner to the front thanks to lab tests and modern medical data. I will not eat this weekend, much, and definitely will not spend $, as I've given you my weekend allowance for splurging on things I want but do not need. To compound matters, my iPhone 5, that was a hand-me-down gift some three years ago from a kind-hearted 20 year old friend who purchases the latest gadget every year, died two weeks ago (the phone, the friend is now 23 and living as well as we humans can manage) and I've been saving every penny to purchase a new phone and really should not put it off another week as I am going to Nashville to pitch in a softball tournament next weekend and phones are essential for communicating with a team on an away trip. The trip itself is forcing a zero-spending limit for the month of July, which was supposed to start in June, so you may be lucky to have found me on a very vulnerable day-before-the-deadline as you thawed the spending freeze before it fully solidified, which makes you evil in the budget office as they scramble to obtain more imaginary refrigerant.

Hopefully, you are as immune to guilt trips as I am and find my futile attempt to get free stuff as amusing as I do, but feel free to include a little gift for any reason at all, especially if you still remember the free love and communal sharing we once knew when we were young and foolish and oh so wise. Wisdom may truly be wasted on the young, but that doesn't mean it wasn't real at the time.

It is said that wisdom is wasted on the young... but that doesn't mean the young should give it back.

Anyway, this is a PS, so it should be less lengthy than an actual letter... not that anything must be as it should be. In fact, just imagine the world where thing were not always as they should be, but as they could be. In even more extended fact, I believe things should be as the could be a whole lot more than as they should be... oh, if only they would be. What a wonderful world this should could would be.

You may have guessed that my first doctor was named Seuss, who's name I used to spell wrong until I remembered that Suess should rhyme with guess and his name is Seuss. Not that words always sound as they should, but if they could... oh no, let's not start that merry go round again. Instead, let's just say thank you very much for the inspiration to let the words flow freely just a little, for the free associative babbling is the refuge of the sanity that still might be left in the cranial capacitors between the ears of the head that sits on neck of the body I loosely call mine for however long I can keep up the ever more complicated maintenance program and ever increasing payments. Once upon a time, I might have been a revered elder in a tribe of people who respected the Earth and each other. Alas, this experience of aging in the current modern culture is so sad, I wonder how many more years I will want to continue doing it. Forever seems so futile sometimes. On the other hand, my calendar is relatively free and there are still so many possibilities to explore before whatever might come next, so I'll just stick around and see what happens. This moment, after all, is quite enjoyable. Even if I'm the only one getting pleasure out of it.

If you want to know more, please deposit 25 cents for the next three minutes. Or click here for that matter. I blog almost daily, sometimes several times a day, and somehow maintain a hundred other blogs and about fifty pages on the current social media monster, in case it matters.

Thunder rolls across the sky inviting me to step outside of my mind (and this PS) to experience some weather. We get weather here every day, often loud and wet at this time of year. I've not played softball in at least two weeks because the fields have been too wet for safe play. I remember the days when I'd love to dive to catch a ball playing softball or football in fields puddled with slippery grass and much mud. I miss the days when there were not so many rules about running around and having fun.

In any case (wordy brother to anyway, I imagine), I shall pause this babble and take my leave from this PS with a wish for a day with many more smiles than frowns for both of us and we shall see if I enter my credit card information and click on that link on your site. I have a pay pal donation link on my primary blog in case anyone is interested. Just saying, as the kids say these days. I miss the days when I did not have to think about pennies so often too.

Thank you for being, oh brilliant one. Thank you for your emails and all the words you've shared over the years. May you find inspiration to find more and share more a lot more in this life and if there is a way, I hope to receive a pot shot after we are gone, wherever we may be.

honest love,
ric


You can find even more Ash here.

Brillance

Typically I do not link the source for inspiration to write these letters to friends out of respect for the privacy of the friends who inspire the letters, but this is a unique friend who's lived and danced in my mind for many decades now and he is brilliant and wouldn't mind that I share his brilliance with you.

Hug. I feel like we're old friends, at least in my mind. Your words have lived there for more than 50 years so far. :)

I know loss and loneliness. I've accepted that filling the space, internally and externally, of a lifelong partner is relatively impossible - which is a sadness without a bottom that I do my best to spend little time in because I can only tread on the surface for so long. There is, I learned as a young child (and am lucky enough to still remember sometimes) this wonderful momentary experience called life and experiencing the senses this body still affords me in each moment as fully as I can is still the best experience I can enjoy by myself. Do I do that as much a possible

I still dream of finding another compatible partner for however much longer this body keeps breathing (and I'm hoping for several more decades as I would like to see what being 100 years old is like for real, rather than just feeling like it now and then lol) and keep my heart and mind open to the possibility. At least a close enough friends to be a roommate perhaps, as I enjoy sharing a living room and daily rituals. I am challenging to please though and do not follow the core paths of thought most do in this world.

Yes, I enjoy being alone, but I also know the lonely abyss of missing a life partner and still wanting that sharing. The trick some people seem to learn is to no longer want it. Need is just wanting something more than you may need it. Or perhaps it is better said, neediness is wanting something more than you actually need it. I feel needy when I want something more than I need it. Almost a Pot-Shot, though I do not snap with your brilliance. :)

I lose myself in words, babbling, and find much amusement and comfort in writing to myself or to anyone who might care to read. I've gotten so used to writing in blogs to myself and anyone without responses that I seem to have forgotten how much I loved to communicate and correspondence is not as natural as it once was. Hundred page letters back and forth between pen pals was once a regular part of life for me. It's almost strange to write to an individual now. I smile, chuckle, and ponder why. Only slightly. :)

Anyway (the catch all segue word still very much in use in the babbling mind), I wrote to say I love you for the words you've brought into this life and for the thoughts your words inspired. May you continue for many more years.

I have your Pot Shot CD somewhere in storage, alas, much of the stuff of this life is in storage at this time, but I still enjoy the memories. A big box containing several hundred Pot Shot cards is also there, on antique paper by now as many were purchased in the sixties lol. Sadly, I must hold back on my desire for purchase, as I live very frugally at the moment, but if I win the lottery or something like that I will buy more new stuff.

Keep on keeping on, my friend in my mind. Know your life of words touched many and still does. I value your presence in this life above most others.

honest love,
ric