Art Thou Letters?

It appears that clarity of purpose is not being sought in any earnest way for this blog as I believe letters to friends and letters to strangers and letters of introduction which once were are now, for the moment at least, all being dumped into this repository with some modicum of abandon, if not reckless. So, with little or not thought of where this belongs beyond ths paragraph that does not seem so seek a conclusion even as it comes to it's end, we present to you, for your edification and reading pleasure, this latest letter with little more explanation than this fanfare and a few minor modifications.

There are definite differences between the feel of the flow of the words at different times of the day and not just cuz it's morning or evening, but cuz it's wake up and sleepy and also the location and posture of different chairs, lighting, environment distractions, and more. But just the morning atmosphere/environment is different from the evening, like day and night sometimes - oh yeah, and then there is light and dark too lol :)

I may not have much dark for a while... I slept with the full room light on last night because I am hoping the full room light keeps the spiders away. This body reacts very poorly to spider bites and I do not want those annoyances and potential infections again.

No dark is probably not a good thing for me.

We shall see.

Back to your words now, a couple of letters behind sort of... just because I am aware of being a fool does not mean I will stop being one... I really love that :)

Yes, yes, yes - there is a difference between escaping and numbing. Escape is not necessarily reducing the experience, in fact, it can enhance the experience, while numbing is reducing the experience by reducing the sensory input and/or reducing the synaptic activity.

Such clarity, for me at least, is exciting.

I escape often, all the time in fact. I numb very rarely, if ever, though I wonder if that is accurate, conscious, or from a bigger picture that I do not see, a revelation awaiting discovery. Or a forgotten revelation awaiting re-discovery, even.

The challenge for me in this life is to continue riding my seemingly endless and irrepressible flow of positive hopeful energy while still experiencing the full load of depressive negative energy the human race exudes (emanates) almost all the time as a species and for the most part, as individuals. It is the reaction to fear. The choice to empower fear. That is what I mean.

I leave that thought incomplete, slightly disconnected, and without as much clarity as it could have at the moment deliberately to haunt and provoke because it should.

And the gloves are still on.

Hear that, humanity, the gloves are still on.

. . . . . Now, the last few paragraphs (especially from "because it should" but the challenge itself too) was inspired by thoughts you shared but is not a challenge to you - that distinction is important and I probably should make it more often.

I see you as a mind who understands me, or at least much of what I write - though I imagine there are times when you take my challenges to humanity are personalized as a challenge to you and I hope this helps you find more clarity in those moments. I think you, in your mind, reach for bigger pictures if only because you can and must - to see beyond your daily physical existence which is limited by your physical shell, your body, even more than most because of your experiences.

I imagine you can grasp more of the concepts that I present than most, more than anyone I know and am in contact with at this moment in this life, and in that sense you can see the challenges I throw out are challenges you might give to humanity as well.

I hope you understand what I mean.

The distinction between what might be viewed as harsh words, depressive words, angry words, or any sort of negative words are challenges to myself and to humanity to wise up, to wake up, to open senses and see beyond the fears and prejudices and limits of modern acceptable thought and find reason and clarity that exists and can free them from the chains of our limited minds.

I believe you venture farther along that path with me than anyone I know does.

I don't believe I reach any sort of end on this path, whether we call it enlightenment or nirvana or euphoria or complete and total awareness, consciousness, or "being." I mostly hope there is no end to this path and the expansion of understanding and learning and experiencing new experiences with bigger pictures and more acute perceptions is a never ending story - an ever expanding experience of being.

From my limited scope of knowledge and awareness and experience, I would imagine the god concept, the end of the growth of knowledge and awareness (omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence) would be a virtually stagnant and quite boring place and way to be.

When and if I ever get there, I dearly hope I am wrong (and I laugh at that thought either out of some giddy nervous fear or because I already know and awareness, even unacknowledged by consciousness in these words, is fun {shhhh, secrets, ya know? lol lam laa} and yay).

So anyway, get it? Any of it? Some of it? There's always hope (I hope) :)

Meanwhile, back to the point of escape and numbness before I bumble or stumble or grumble, even (words are just so much fun and no I don't want to rumble... I'm much too humble for that and the self-mockery concludes, for the moment, in almost endless laughter. . . )

I think escape's bad reputation comes from how some (most) escape (poisons and other destructive actions) in this world (or at least in human cultures) today and through history. Also from avoidance of responsibility many (most) choose, which sometimes comes due to escape (or vice verse and they are potential an example of mutual causality), but then, some escapes are very much fun and virtually harmless like playing with the latest Google toy when what we meant to do was search for something that would continue an activity, like writing a letter, for instance lol lam laa). Yes I had some fun with the toy, here is an article about it in case you ever want to be a DJ in the modern hip hop world of dance clubs and such.

Absolutely no to do we have to always be present and accounted for. I love to get lost. Love it even more when I get lost with someone who enjoys getting lost. Unfortunately, few people do. Those darned fears of the unknown, of being "out of control" of whatever. Sigh, I wish people would get over it already and learn to enjoy life.

I do believe escape is rich and fertile soil, in fact, escape is where creativity and invention live.

I am running out of time as softball is coming up soon and I must shower and dress and drive, so it is time to suddenly pause...

There is a butterfly somewhere out there that is smiling for you.

I asked her to. :)