She uses memes and quotes to communicate. That inspired...
My perspective is based on evidence. I've got a ton of evidence. I'd love someone to show me that people can be trusted, but I have a lifetime of evidence to the contrary and nobody shows me otherwise so that leaves me with this logic. It's ok. I understood aloneness as a very young child when I never had anyone I could trust or really depend on, from birth... and I spent six decades giving my all to find what I want. Someone to share unconditional trust. I did not give up, but I am not giving the way I used to because I am no longer at an age where I can accept homelessness as an option.
I remain open to receiving different evidence - it is my fondest wish, to love and be loved, to share unconditional trust, and remaining open to it is my deepest smile... security... confidence... and it keeps me happy open to anything :)
I don't know if any people trust unconditionally after early childhood.
I have my whole life.
I am not even sure anyone understands the concept, the experience, or the ramifications of doing it. If I was not working I might explore some courses on human behavior related to trust and relationships. Maybe someone taking that study seriously could converse about it. :)
It has so long time since someone genuinely wanted to know who I am, I have forgotten me in many ways. I've always been a chameleon because as I see life, we each choose who we want to be, what we want to want, how we go about living, and what we do. Few people stay conscious of that during the rush through daily life and most fall into habits, patterns of behaviors that eventually define their personality and who they are.
I've been in a semi-negative pattern for many years, maybe since I was dumped on the street by someone I unconditionally trusted in Toronto and found the same outcome in Orlando.
Maybe I've been waiting for someone to see me within the negative patterns and want me to come out again, but given no one has, maybe I will just do it myself again.
Self-analysis may be a waste of time if not put into practice :)
Ah, we come to that reality. It is kind of pointless (and even a little impossible, but I dream the impossible dream, remember?) to do it by one's self. That is why people are so compelled to find friends, partners, mates. When I am in my center, I see it so clearly I may appear too intellectual, logical, or even clinical for most people.
It has been a long time since someone simply wanted me around.
Luckily I learned to amuse myself and still do it better than anyone I've ever known :)
Words are one way I amuse myself. Writing. It's not always begging for attention or self-analysis or complaining or whining or philosophizing. I would love your opinion of this (that is what it became... this is where it began)... it was a time {and perspective} when I had much more hope for the world and much more visceral pain in my heart and I sought to keep hope alive by writing as I have always done... it's pretty mushy cuz it's kind of dedicated to love, true love) lol.
I've put hundreds of thousands of words online. Many different sides of my personality that seldom show in the physical world because no one is interested in who I am.
I hope you are focused on your goals. I will be here to help you in any way I can whenever I can. My goal with you is to help you be happy and secure and confident in every way. You can do it! :)
Trust me :)
So, do you wanna know me? :)
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