cyberspace connections

sometimes the words, images, and music placed online by a stranger somewhere out there in this (or perhaps another) world inspires the desire to connect and stay connected for one or many reasons and in those moments i realize that this is what this life is about, the connections we can establish and maintain... even if the connection is never more than the literary sharing of reader and writer who never actually exchange personal communication, there is a magic and wonder beyond even the typical audience/artist connection of author and reader, no less actor and audience...

so to that end, this blog is a connection to the inspirations those strangers present and in some cases, my reactions...

i created a blog here on wordpress just so i could subscribe because your words (and the thoughts, feelings, images, music, and 'you' that you put into your words) appeal to me enough to want to stay in touch with you... even if it is no more than a cyberspace virtual literary connection, the connection, you, inspired my smile enough to want to maintain it... irony is that i stumbled across you in my web wanderings before i realized your family connection and that was sweet icing on a cake i was already enjoying...

your honesty - more, the way you appear to open your heart in your words, your longing for love, for acceptance, for meaningful connection is evident to me and hopes my attention because you are creative, diverse, talented, and fascinating in many ways... i have not had time to explore everywhere in your artistic and personal world, but i want to one day...

i hope the few moments i spend here sharing these words help you understand and believe that it does not matter if you know it or not, your worth might go unrecognized or not acknowledged by many out here who read you, but you have more than the number of recorded subscribers and even some of us do not always find the words to show you the appreciation you deserve... when you find yourself doubting whether your time and energy spent here or anywhere sharing yourself on line is worth it, please quell those doubts with the knowledge that most readers read in silence and that silence is not a reflection on you, but rather, it is a lack of time, or words, or simply, shyness...

you inspire me and many with your candor... that is so rare in this world... i look forward to the ways you will share yourself in this life... and my hope is you continue to share, expand, grow, learn your worth and express yourself in ways that actualize your dreams...

sometimes the applause is silent, but it is out here :)

take care of yourself jade, and please continue :)

honest love,
ric

hope

inspired by a personal vlog...

laci, dear laci, you are not as alone as you may feel... you are one of the few, sadly, who refuse to let go of the awareness available to every child who dares to use the mind and feel openly, honestly, and beyond the fear forced upon us all by oppressive cultural rituals and controlling forces (governments, religions, economic structures)...

i have lived long, relatively, and yet still touch the first moment of awareness i felt as a very young child before anyone could convince me that love and trust and truth and sharing and caring were wrong... before i bought into the fears, i bought into the love and nothing is stronger...

along the way many other emotions have competed and at times, dark depressing weights blinded me to the love, but somewhere inside that same unrelenting drive to be aware, to love, to care that brought on the depressing hopelessness was the saving grace that shined with hope as i found myself laughing at myself - never give up, never surrender, the madness of the stubbornness of not giving into fear, of not turning off the awareness, of not leaving - or losing my mind...

so strange the feeling that not being able to escape the awareness, not being able to let go of the caring, not being able to step out of my mind can feel like losing my mind... but here i am, battered and beaten and gasping my last breath now and then, yet still walking on through the wind (song from carousel and the md telethon) and realizing that it is just a matter of perspective...

it doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full, what matters is will you drink it or die of thirst...

the greatest challenge in life for me has been to maintain hope during the moments of despair when people i loved and trusted betrayed me, when the weight of the world seemed to come crashing down on my shoulders, when i felt not just helpless, but worthless because i was not seeing how i could do anything more to help anyone or myself, when i wondered if i could do anything more, when i felt lost and did not know what to do...

in those moments i reached deep inside for the child i was, the child i am, the child who said no to fear, no to doubt, no to the grown up world that sought to oppress and devour my hope and love... and that child inside smiles even as i whimper, even as i shudder, even as i cringe with desperation, for that child lives and knows the strength and power of believing in love...

i see the child in you, in your eyes when you share your hopefulness and enlightened thoughts... i hope that my recognition of that part of you might help you feel less alone and help you remember your strength and most of all, help you remember that you see the big picture - humanity with all it's faults - and still can believe in the love within yourself... you are aware and enlightened and beautiful and that fact - that you are as you are - proves a human can overcome the fears and all the cruelties and self-destruction that those fears create... if you can do it, others can do it... so there is the hope for humanity, the proof in who you are...

it is challenging to wait for enough people to catch up so humanity as a collective species takes another evolutionary leap forward in conscious awareness... the best we can do is be the role models we are and take solace that there are a few others out here who understand...

let this be a comforting hug, a safe understanding that it's ok to feel the weight, that it's ok to feel the depression and throw a pity-party for humanity for it is a pity that so much human life is wasted and has been wasted... and let this also help you see the way out of that hopeless helpless malaise... take my hand, at least mentally/emotionally in these words, when you feel down and i rejoice in the fact that i feel strong enough to offer it...

let this be a thank you for the times i felt down and your voice/positivity lifted me :)

honest love, ric

and when i want more

i might whine aloud (or in print in relative public, like right here, for instance) and while it may start with self-pathetic pouting (or even venting re: the antiblog, look it up in the blogs of rhyme and prose i write below), it always ends up with a happy confirmation of my belief in myself (even if that is delusional) as you might see in the process exposed to words below...

so i will just keep deluding myself into believing my few minutes (or hours, sometimes) a day putting videos online in my own pop news blog (that amuses me with stories and information I find in the news or on youtube or somewhere, some tongue in cheek, some controversial, some serious, some irreverent) or in my more personal video me blog (where I put videos that touch me, reflect me, affect me, and in some ways, represent me)… and the time I take to write words in my current daily life blog which is what it is, a record of the life I live and it matters to me…

even if no one ever cares to share any of it…

and all the rest, the bullsugar and blogs of rhymes and prose i write and even the deleted pages (which I will do my best to find and re-upload one day cuz I care, again, even if nobody else ever does), they matter, even if that is just my delusion and I am a fool for believing it…

but I’m not…