clicking maybe

so i was checking the suggested matches on a social meeting site, ourtime, this time (you can find my profile intro here if you care to read it), and found one i might like to know (without the expectations please) and the site would not let me continue seeing the profiles they picked for me without clicking yes, no, or maybe and i did not want to click no because maybe i found a friend and i did not want to click yes because i did not want misunderstanding so i clicked maybe and then wrote this message in the box the site provided to explain clicking maybe and also answer four questions the person choose and after writing all this below, the site wanted to charge me to send the message it asked me to send so i closed the browser and came here cuz i am still not taking any site seriously enough to pay for the superficial connections the web offers...

anyway, explaining clicking maybe to a complete stranger...

can i format or make paragraphs in this box on this site?... i won’t even try, i will explain why i am writing and answer your questions, eventually (in my babbling way)… I have so little time to explore new friends, I barely have time for current friends, but it is possible that I don't want to be as alone as I have been the past twenty years or so on some levels... I've lived with best friends (still do) and enjoy life as it is, but there is still a missing component, a level of sharing and deeper trust beyond what I currently have in life. So I occasionally (sometimes very occasionally) pop in on these social sites to explore... I don't invest much time and have yet to pay for a site so my communication is limited and often non-existent, but I decided to that I did not want to click no on your profile when it popped up on "today's matches" because I wanted to see the rest of the profiles this site chose for me without dismissing yours completely... so maybe we will be friends someday or maybe not, but I wanted you to understand the "maybe"... if this message gets through, great... you understand and accept that, better... if you respond i don't know if i will be able to read your message if i check in here again... if you want to learn more about me and share more about you, you can find me by the name candoor on the web... to your questions... i have never known biological family and the family that adopted me was very dysfunctional and distant... my family are those i've adopted and except for the one i live with, i seldom see anyone outside of work these days... family is a strange concept to me sometimes, but i imagine it is wonderful if it is the actualization of unconditional trust... that is how it is for me as much as possible... i love the outdoors, though don't spend much time outdoors except for playing softball several times a week... i don't need the outdoors as much as you may do and what i enjoy most at the moment is playing softball - though sharing intimacy-trust-honesty anywhere, indoors or out, is my favorite life activity... I haven't had time for much travel and don't crave it as much as i used to... i've been to dallas, washington dc, atlanta, and all around florida (again, playing softball) in the past year... i work a lot and love my work... where would i go?... i'd have to ponder more to choose one place... anywhere with the right person is my best answer for now... out into the universe (you said anywhere)... tropical islands appeal to me (hot climates are my natural habitat, cold climates are places to visit)... exploring major cities of the world would be interesting... and my four main goals... used to be 'finding the one' was #1 without a doubt... it may still be in the top four, but 'enjoying the moment in as many ways on as many levels as much as possible' would be #1 now... continuing the life journey for thousands more years may be unrealistic at the moment, but i'd love to see what happens in the distant future... time travel... i am a dreamer (holding out for 'the one' for all this time kind of suggests that i supposed - written with a self-mocking smile)... sharing life with a best friend who actualizes unconditional trust and honest love is definitely second i think... a partnership would be ideal... i'd like to save the world (end the human insanity that currently dominates the planet, somehow enlighten enough people to their cruelties and the ridiculousness of most of their fears and help actualize peace, love, and happiness, that remains in the top goals for me... continue playing softball well is a physical goal, running a 5k again under 25 minutes might be a goal if i take it seriously (i'll start at 35, then 30, then 25 when i have the time and motivation... perhaps this year... dropping weight is a recent goal i am accomplishing... harry chapin has a song called 'song for myself' that has some of my life goals in it... i let songs speak to me very deeply... i've always wanted to meet a musician and collaborate, just haven't met the right one yet... i have a page of 'wants' somewhere out there that probably answer the question well... and so, there is my babbling hello for tonight... are we friends yet? (irreverent humor is serious too sometimes)... didn't want you to misunderstand my 'maybe' if this site even lets you know i clicked maybe... i hope you had wonderful end of year experiences and this new year is starting off with warm smiles and deep meaningful sharing... may you find all you want soon (and then, want some more :)